I needed a dog because hoes keep stealing my tacos
I ate a condom because I’m gay
Reblogging for this ^
((I stabbed a bum because I’m sexy like that.
((I needed a toothbrush because I had to. Had to what? .3.))
(( I needed a horse because I’m good in bed…. WHAT WHAT EW THATS GROSS NO! ))
I ran shirtless with a homeless guy because I’ve got abs